Okay
by Lukeprism
Summary: The tables are suddenly turned, and Yukio is no longer capable of being the protector. But somehow, he can't help but feel like everything's going to be okay despite all that. Brotherly or incestual Rin/Yukio, take your pick.


_**WARNINGS: Loss of bodily functions, some crying, a little bit of violence, cursing, and either really affectionate bro-love or super mild twincest. You can take it either way.**_

DISCLAIMER: If I owned AnE, shit like this would happen for real and people would come at me with pitchforks and torches.

—**s—t—a—r—t—f—i—c—t—i —o—n—**

Everything Yukio had ever tried to do, he'd succeeded in doing, and usually did well at it.

From the time he was seven years old, he'd grown accustomed to excelling. Be it his school work or his exorcising abilities or even his physical growth, he'd always come out on top. He was able to silence his own fears and worries and problems in favor of accomplishing tasks. He was regarded as a prodigy, a genius, the youngest exorcist to ever be. As such, the praise he was showered with on a regular basis began to get lost in the background, so that he couldn't quite distinguish it from everyday conversation anymore. Of course, he made sure to keep himself from becoming complacent; there would be time for that later, when he'd become Paladin.

But even beyond all that, he'd always had the ability to _do_ things. To be able to set a goal for himself and go for it, by small increments, one at a time. The fact that he could get things done, no matter how small the task, was something most people took for granted. He now realized this, though it was a few days too late.

Everything had changed.

It began exactly four nights ago, when he had been called out on a semi-urgent mission to locate and destroy a few rouge Byakko, causing trouble on the outskirts of the Academy town, just outside the barriers. It was Yukio and another Intermediate First Class exorcist, a Miss Kinoshita, as they trekked through the tree-ridden area, being rather stealthy so as to catch the demons with their guards down. The brunette was nonplussed when he realized his older twin brother, Rin, had followed him out with some bullshit excuse about having to stay with him at all times (well, maybe bullshit wasn't the right word; those _had_ been the Grigori's orders, after all...), but couldn't be bothered to take him back, and so the trio continued the search.

But as Rin was hard-pressed to keep his mouth shut, the Byakko ended up finding them first. The three were surrounded by just as many malicious, teeth-baring foxes, snarling and glowing with an ethereal light. Kinoshita performed a rolling dodge, avoiding a white fox's lunge for her, and urged them to split up and take them down one by one to keep them from ganging up on any of them, trying and failing to slice the demon chasing her. Yukio agreed, out of any other options, before whipping out his own pistols and firing rapidly at the two remaining assailants. Unfortunately, the Byakko were quite fast, able to predict his shot pattern almost uncannily. Out of bullets, Yukio gritted his teeth, ejecting his magazines speedily before replacing them, jamming his guns down upon the spares on his belt.

Rin, Kurikara in hand, went for a more up-close-and-personal approach. Leaping up into the air, he unsheathed the demon sword, pupils distorting and blue flames engulfing his body as he came down on one of the demon, a brown fox. The fox just barely dodged, giving the bluenette a dangerous growl before it's jaws beelined for Rin's throat. The boy swung his sword wildly in self-defense, swatting it away with the flat of his blade. As he went for it again, Yukio busied himself keeping the last of the three Byakko, a slightly bigger, gray-colored fox, at bay. A couple of his bullets grazed the demon's extremities, but it kept it's near-blinding pace up, darting away into the shadows to throw Yukio off. Kinoshita and the white fox were still locked in combat, the former adapting to the latter's zigzagging technique and using it to her advantage.

Rin cursed aloud when the fox managed to bite him, leaving two semi-deep gashes along his arm. Flames burning brightly in anger, Rin grew tired of chasing the brown demon around, instead opting to send some of his flame at it from afar. Though Rin's control still needed quite a bit of work, he managed to hit it, making the thing whine loudly in both pain and rage. This sound distracted the white fox for a fraction of a second, but that was all it took for Kinoshita to take her chance and plunge her sword into it's body, slicing through it like butter. It made an uncanny sound as it dissipated in a puff of black smoke, Kinoshita wiping the sweat from her forehead.

Rin had come up and sent the brown fox back to Gehenna during that time as well, cutting through what might well have been air, and held his sword on his shoulder rather cockily, going on about how much of a pushover the demon had proved to be. Yukio approached his brother, about to tell him to put his guard back up for the third Byakko he had admittedly not yet slain, when sudden movement out of the corner of his eyes distracted him. The last fox was hurtling toward Rin with an indignant cry at an alarming speed, detached voice screaming something about how much of a traitor Rin was. The bluenette turned too late, the demon's shining and quite possibly lethal fangs almost on top of him before he even took notice of the demon. Yukio, in a sudden whirl of urgency and sheer will, shoulder-shoved his brother out of the way in a last ditch attempt to protect him, thinking his back would handle damage better and taking the blow instead.

The last things he remembered were the pain of having his flesh ripped open, the sickening noise and feeling of teeth scraping against and undoubtedly fracturing bone, and both his brother and Miss Kinoshita screaming. Then his world went black, hitting the ground hard as his guns fell away from his grip.

That was how he'd ended up here, in this white room, dressed in nothing but a light blue, papery material and stuck in a white bed, staring at the white walls and chair and stainless steel machinery and beside table, ignoring the blank T.V. screen mounted on the wall to his right, glasses only magnifying the dark circles under his eyes. The IV connected to his arm prevented him from moving around too much. It was _killing_ him, having to sit here, constantly seeing the same thing, unable to see much of anything out the window that sat just above his comfortable range of sight. He itched to be out of here, back in his teaching position, doing his exorcist work, studying for his normal school classes, _something_. But even if he wanted to, even if he dared violate the hospital's regulations like that, there was no way he could leave on his own.

When he'd regained consciousness the next day, after they'd performed surgery and sewn up the hole in his back, the first thing he did was go through and move his appendages, to see if any further damage had been done. His arms were fine, and his neck was okay, but when he tried to move his legs, he found that they wouldn't respond. Neither of them. Confused, Yukio noted that he couldn't feel anything down there. When he lifted the covers, he saw that his legs were still there, intact and looking fine, but when he went to touch them, he felt nothing. Not even the faintest pressure. His face slowly took on a horrified expression when he realized what this meant.

When the doctor came in to check up on him, Yukio could barely hear what he had to say, save for the words "complete paralysis from the upper back down" and "nothing we can do," which were so loud it was almost deafening. Basically the Byakko had successfully fractured his spinal cord, rendering all motor and sensory skill from the injury down completely non-responsive. Miss Kinoshita was a Doctor meister as well as a Knight meister, so she was able to do some quick treatments for any possible temptaints and excessive blood loss, but ultimately relied on Rin's speed in rushing him back into town and finding a door to use the key to the hospital on. From there they'd gone into immediate operation to try and save the connection, but they were too late. The doctor apologized to him profusely, insisting to let the staff know if there was anything they could do for him before he left rather awkwardly, leaving the younger Okumura twin alone in the constricting white room.

The first two days, Yukio almost wished he would just die. Just die and get it over with. He didn't eat anything, he didn't talk at all, and he refused the two visits made to him. He had a very limited range of motion when it came to his torso, only able to turn thirty or so degrees either way. He couldn't even sit up on his own. His arms were fully functional, thank goodness, but Yukio couldn't get past the fact that he'd be stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of his life, rendered incapable of living like he had been for the past fifteen years. What was he supposed to _do_ now? He couldn't be an exorcist. He couldn't walk. He couldn't ride a bus unless it was handicap-friendly. He couldn't even move himself without a wheelchair or someone helping him out. And he certainly couldn't protect his big brother anymore. He was completely and utterly useless. Why even bother?

By the third day, though, the initial shock had worn off. Yukio still believed he was a useless burden to all those around him, but he thought. He thought about Rin. He and Rin only had each other left. He couldn't just leave him here, all alone. Though Yukio wasn't in any shape to be protecting him anymore and he knew that Rin still had Shura and Shiemi and everyone else to care for him, he didn't think his twin would appreciate him giving up if he still had life left in him to live. He also thought about his education. He could still go to school; it'd just be a bit of a hassle. And he could still teach, just from his wheelchair. There were thousands upon thousands of people who had to roll around in wheelchairs. Who was he to give up just because he thought it would be hard? He was Yukio Okumura, the youngest exorcist ever. Surely something as trivial as a wheelchair couldn't end him so easily.

He actually attempted to eat that day, though it still wasn't much. He apologized to the nurses for his overly-dramatic, childish behavior. And he allowed his visitor entry. Mephisto came strutting into the room with that pink umbrella of his, offering his deepest condolences and assuring him that he still had a place at True Cross Academy, both as a student and a teacher, and that his resignation as an exorcist was his call. Yukio didn't even give the notion a second thought, declining the offer instantly. He wasn't so much an optimist as to expect his exorcising abilities to be unaffected. He'd keep his title and weapons, sure, but missions were a no-no.

Today, day number four, he sat there, like he'd learned was all he could do, trying to keep himself from thinking about anything in particular. He had bags under his eyes, due to his restlessness at night, being unable to turn over in his sleep to find a good position. He was paler than usual, just sitting there idly, doing nothing to get his blood pumping. He closed his eyes, needing a break from the constant bright white that assaulted his vision all day. Settling himself in a comfortable enough position, he laid like that for a minute, coming close to dozing off, when there was a knock on his door. Yukio made a noise to signal he was awake and listening.

The door opened and a nurse poked her head in. "Mr. Okumura," she addressed him formally though she was a couple decades his senior. "You have a visitor. Would you like to see him?"

Yukio opened an eye, the one closest to the door, to look at her with vague curiosity. "I don't see why not," he answered, his voice rather dry.

She nodded, stepping away from the door. Both Yukio's eyes opened wider than they had in a few days when he saw who was undoubtedly his brother crossing the threshold, wearing a smile that had obviously been rehearsed over and over again, and was held there in a failed attempt to appear nonchalant. His dark blue hair stuck out in random places, just as it always did, and he wore his school uniform, Kurikara slung over his shoulder. His tail gave away his emotions, twitching more than flicking at odd intervals, unsure of what to say now that he was here. "H-hey, Yukio," he stammered only once, clearing his throat a bit to help his nerves. "How...how are you?"

Yukio held his tongue, didn't say anything like, 'look at me, brother. Look at me. How do you _think_ I feel?' He was a little put off by Rin's behavior; it definitely wasn't like him to act so obviously anxious or nervous. "I'm fine as I can be," he answered after a moment, not even bothering to try and smile back. "How are you?"

Rin laughed a fake, dull laugh. It hurt Yukio's ears. "I'm fine! Shura's been trying to kill me with training, but I think I can handle it." He shuffled closer to Yukio, closing the door behind him. "Yeah. I'm good."

The two were silent after that. Rin's eyes left Yukio's face, giving him a once over. It made the brunette feel self-conscious, what with the expression Rin wore; he couldn't quite identify it. This was what Yukio was dreading. Having everyone look down at you, pity you, not take you seriously. Yukio didn't know if he was going to be able to handle it, seeing as how he'd always been looked up to by most. The younger of the two coughed, and Rin's attention snapped back to his face. Yukio blinked a couple of times, not really knowing what to say. Since when was it so hard to talk to Rin? Maybe had something to do with the unexplained tension in the room, like Rin was debating on whether or not to tell him something.

But Yukio was caught off-guard completely when Rin's eyebrows furrowed and his eyes got glossy, stepping toward Yukio with feeling now, throwing any inhibitions he may have had to the wind. By the time he had thrown his arms around Yukio, the bluenette was sobbing, chest shaking against his, hugging him like it was the last time they'd ever see each other. "Yuh-yuh-Yukio," he managed to say between breaths. "I'm s-so sorry. You...I...it's all m-my fault." He paused to sniffle, sounding a little embarrassed on his part, though he pushed that away for the moment. "You...you could've _died_. I sh-should have paid attention. I shouldn't have let y-you take that hit. Why? _Why_ did you do that? I'm the goddamn son of Satan, Yukio! I would have healed! You..." he trailed off, burying his face into Yukio's neck. "You're n-_never_ going to heal. I don't even...I can't even imagine..."

Yukio felt something tugging at his heartstrings as his brother embraced him, blaming it all on himself like the idiot he had always been. The taller boy put his arms around Rin in return, hugging back gently. "I wasn't really thinking, I suppose," he admitted, thinking back to the moment he'd pushed Rin down and taken one for the team. "All I saw was you about to get mauled by that Byakko, and I panicked. I had to protect you. That was the only thing that came to mind." He poked Rin in the back. "Quit blaming yourself, brother. I did that myself; it was my own decision. Now I'm going to have to live with that decision. I can handle that."

Rin didn't answer him for a while, instead opting to try and calm himself down. Yukio's blue papery outfit was getting quite wet around the shoulder area, but he honestly didn't care much, patting his big brother's back affectionately. He found it funny that Rin was crying, seeing as how it probably should've been _him_ crying, but he appreciated the worry on his behalf. Rin wiped his face on his sleeve a bit before he pressed their foreheads together, looking Yukio in the eyes with somber, still red and puffy eyes. "How the hell are you still so calm...?" he said more than asked, the ghost of a smile on his face. "It's like you're made of steel."

Yukio found himself smiling despite himself, an actual, genuine smile. "There isn't any use in crying over spilt milk, is there?" he quoted smartly, wiping his brother's cheek for him with his thumb.

Rin chuckled shakily. "I guess you're right," he admitted, closing his eyes. Yukio jumped slightly when Rin plopped a hand down on top of his head, fingers running through his hair. "I promise I'm going to get stronger, Yukio. Strong enough to protect both of us." He reopened his sapphire eyes, gaze locking with Yukio's blue-green irises once more. "Promise me you'll never do anything like that ever again. Promise me you'll let _me_ protect _you_ now."

Yukio blinked a few times, like he was mulling the idea over a bit. He wasn't sure if he could keep his word to that first promise. If there was some kind of life-threatening situation, and Yukio was able to save someone else by sacrificing himself, he'd probably do it (because they'd probably need the life more than he did, eh?). But that look in Rin's eyes mesmerized him. It was a look of impeccable determination, a kind of expression that made Yukio want to throw all of his faith and trust into him and hope—no, _wait—_for the best. So Yukio smiled again, grabbing hold of Rin's other hand. That was his brother for you, bringing out the optimism in everyone. With such a sincere attitude, Yukio Okumura couldn't help but feel like everything was going to be...

"Okay."

—**e****—****n****—****d****—****f****—****i****—****c****—****t****—****i****—****o****—****n**** —?—**

_**A/N: Would you believe I got the idea for this whilst babysitting a couple days ago? Yes, I'm a twisted person.**_

Anyway, I wrote this with the intention of it being, y'know, romantic bro-love, but if you don't like stuff like that then it can be taken as completely platonic as well. Poor Yukes. I don't often write fics in which characters get super hurt/disabled. Did I do okay? Also, I don't know if I'm done with this idea or not; I do have an idea for another chapter, but I guess I'll have to see how people like this one (or not!) before doing anything like that.

Anyways, leave me a review telling me whatcha liked, didn't like, things I can improve on, etc. etc. Please! It means a bunch~

Thanks for reading! C:  



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